Build Your Family With Us.

We’ve all heard it before.  “One day at a time…”

 That’s a good idea in theory, but hard to put into practice.  We live in such a scheduled society.  We have the illusion that things are in our control.  If we just make a plan, we can follow it.  And then fertility challenges hit.  We no longer know if we can schedule a vacation or make a job change.  Life is put on hold. 

 Take a moment and just breathe.  It is hard to not know the outcome of fertility treatment. 

 You begin to wonder, “What do I know for sure?” 

 You know that you have this moment.  You have choices about how you are going to handle this day. 

 Make this your plan: 

·                     I will take each day as it comes. 

·                     I will wake up and do my best to make healthy choices for myself throughout the day.

·                     I will try not to think too much about the past or about the future because I am staying focused on the activities of today. 

 There are really only a few things we know for sure.  Make this day more peaceful. 

Submitted by Kristin Blackwell, LMSW, counselor at The Fertility Center (June 2009)

We understand how devastating a pregancy loss is and want to offer support to you during this time.  Losing a baby is especially difficult for couples who have struggled with infertility.   

What to expect the next few weeks:

 ·                    Right now you may be in shock and feel tearful much of the time.  This is normal. 

·                    People tend to experience grief in stages.  Expect that your feelings will change over time and that most people experiencing pregnancy loss feel similiar feelings.

·                    You may or may not want to talk to others about what has happened.  Feel free to talk as much or as little as you are comfortable.  You may want to let others know if you are up for talking.

·                    You, as a couple, may have different reactions to your loss.  Be patient with one another.  You will each have good days and bad days.

·                    Let others know if there are specific things that you need.  People are looking for ways to help and you may benefit from giving them some responsibilbity now to ease your load.

·                    If you wish, you can name the baby or create memories that remind you of your baby.  This can help you as you think or talk about your baby in the future.

 There is a lot of information about healing following a pregnancy loss.  If you feel up to reading, you may want to find a good book or go on the internet to find more helpful suggestions on dealing with your grief.  It may also help to hear that there are other people who have shared a similiar experience.

 We have an on-site counselor in the Grand Rapids office who can meet with you individually or as a couple free of charge.  She is also available by phone if you are unable to come in person.  Many of our patients find that it is helpful to talk to someone during this difficult time.  Please call the Grand Rapids office (616-988-2229) to schedule an appointment if you would like.

Submitted by Kristin Blackwell, LMSW, counselor at the Fertility Center (March 2009)

Facing the New Year

With the start of a new year, many people are setting goals and trying to be hopeful for things to come in 2009.  But if you are struggling with fertility issues, the new year often comes with a mixture of feelings.   For some, the new year can be a reminder of a year gone by where things may not have happened as you had hoped.  You may be reminded of the ups and downs that have occurred during this past year.  Depending on where you are in your treatment, you may want to set some goals which help you approach your fertility treatment in a renewed way.

Try to do things regularly that bring you pleasure (ie: take a walk outside, sit by the fire with a loved one, buy flowers to put in your home, etc.)   You may need to spend some time thinking about what you enjoy or what brings you happiness.  Consider writing ideas down and picking something daily or weekly to try.

Be realistic about new diet/exercise goals.  This is probably not a good time to make drastic changes in your health.  Making a daily commitment to move more and eat healthier is always a good idea. 

Take advantage of the support around you.  Family and friends are often good support while dealing with fertility challenges.  Sometimes attending a support group or talking to a counselor can be helpful too.  This may be your first time to try a support group or counseling.  Many people find support groups and counseling to be more beneficial than they had thought.   The Fertility Center offers on-site counseling at no cost to our patients.  You may call the office and schedule and appointment at your convenience.